Wes' Blog Cabin

Star Wars a Cinematic Delight!

I've never claimed to be an expert on movies but, my goodness! "Star Wars: Episode III: The Revenge of the Cyst: The Movie: The Last Installment of a Six-Part Series: The Final Chapter of the Prequil Trilogy to the Previously-viewed Trilogy: Lightsabers are Cool" is a magnificent spectical of sight and sound!

Can you imagine a universe where lasers come out of flashlights... but they don't shoot out into space for eternity?! They stop magically after about 3 feet! And they make this amazing "Waow wuh wuh wuh Bfvvvssfv...Waaaaaow" sound! And when people use them, the room gets darker and sparks start falling out of the walls and ceiling! It's all true!

...At least in the wonderful mind of George Lucas! But Mr. Lucas doesn't stop with just one or two of these "Sabers of Light." No. He has, like, hundreds of them...all going at the same time! What chance does evil have with this many lightsabers flicking away the lasers that are cruely being shot at them? "NO CHANCE AT ALL!," you scream?

Well, you're wrong! Evil is really pretty smart. And talented. And wears a hood just barely over it's eyes. And ... guess what ... Evil has Lightsabers, too! Oh no.

Luckily, there are these things called Wookies. They're big and fuzzy and their species name rhymes with "cookies." But, careful. Wookies are BIG! And they know how to pack a punch. They also know how to make sure that Yoda has an escape pod! I don't want to give away too much of the movie but here is one of my favorite scenes in the movie:

Yoda and Chewbacca, probably America's favorite Wookie, and ... Wookie #2 ... are standing outside of an escape pod located in the suburbs of Wookietown.

Chewbacca: Wmmuugggghuuugh.
Wookie #2: (tilts head) Wuuugghlmuggh.
Chewbacca: (tilts head) Muuggggh?
Wookie #2: (tilts head opposite direction) Mmmmuuuggh!
Chewbacca: (barely moves head) Wmmuugggghuuugh!!!
Yoda: (confused) What are you...?
Wookie #2: (interrupts, tilts head) Wuuugghlmuggh.

NOTE: If you and your friends want to reenact this scene in your mom's basement, I would reccomend that the actors portraying the Wookies gargle pudding while delivering lines. Yoda can gargle pudding, too, just not while he is speaking.

And the dialogue gets even better when they use English; the accepted language of the entire universe. Take, for instance, the scene when Anakin Skywalker Ranch turns into Darth Vader for the first time, surprising everyone !

Darth Vader: (arms held out) Nooooooooooooooooo!
Audience: Nooooooooooooooooo!

Powerful.

Again, I don't want to give away too much but I think there is some strong evidence put forth in this installment that Senator Ovaltine is not a very nice person. I don't think he's as pro-democracy as he lets on!

But I digress. My point is, "Star Wars: The War in the Stars" is possibly the best movie shot completely on a computer without being considered animation ever made. Ever.

See it again for the first time. But, be warned: There is a dark side to the force. Dark and/or boring. You might be better off seeing this movie.